Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
