id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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