we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
