just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
