They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
