Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
