Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.