I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
