y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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