i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
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You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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