dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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