READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
