he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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