I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
