I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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