Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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