Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
