oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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