he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
