My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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