How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
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Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
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Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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