I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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