Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
