he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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