Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
