i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
