Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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