Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
