i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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