New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
