I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
