How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
