can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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