my vag is so smooth its legendary
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
