Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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