If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
