We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
