I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
