Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize