I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
