Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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