You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
