Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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