try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best