Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks