Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON