I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?