i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
