I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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