At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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