He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize