I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
