I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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