Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
