Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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