He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
