I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
