Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
