I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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