just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
we're so committed to being not committed
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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