eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
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some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
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Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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