You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
