at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
